Light of the world.
Now I finally understand why in Christ, no one will ever walk in the darkness. As I read the Bible, it’s like every dark corner in my life is being spotted by a glaring light. I felt so ashamed when I come to realize how sinful I am and how terrible I am before God. I got so discouraged of course, I can’t even deny it because God knows I’ve done terrible things and I can’t describe how sorry I am. I felt the urge to give up, I don’t know what to do, I thought there was no hope for me.
I almost cried out of sheer guilt. I hated myself, so much. I can’t even describe how disgusted I am with myself. I don’t even know if God can still forgive me after all. This, I think, is the darkest time of my life. I can’t think any more darker than this. I lost all my strength to hold on. It felt like every part of me pushes me to give it all up. It even came to my mind that the Lord have abandoned me and left me behind. That thought robbed me of my joy and peace. You see, I don’t even know if God is just testing my faith or what. I don’t have a clue, I’m thinking its just me and my problem.
I’m publishing this so you’ll know that even Christian still faces a big problem. And that you are not alone in the struggle. Right now I’m still waiting for God’s answer, for His solution. ‘Cause I know I can’t save myself from this situation, only He can save. I know in my heart that He is the solution and I trust Him that He will get me out of this. I know I can’t solve this, but He can.
I want to encourage you. I want you to trust Him. ‘Cause I will. God bless you. Let us not lose hope because in God, there is always hope and He has a purpose behind our every problems.